Local Prostitute Unimpressed with Microtransactions, Will Keep Screwing People the Old-Fashioned Way

Local area prostitute Bertha knows a thing or two about servicing customers. After more than two decades of working the streets of Prague, she’s become an incontrovertible figure of the city’s Smichov neighborhood.

“I’m the second-most visited landmark in Prague after the Charles Bridge”, she likes to joke.

Bertha’s customers come from all walks of life, from blue collar Joes to high-powered boardroom executives. “I had a guy come in last week who’s a bigwig at some game studio. You could tell it was his first time with a professional. He was really nervous,” she recalls with a chuckle.

“I asked him about his work, to make him feel at ease. He told me his job was to: milk as much money as possible from poor, unsuspecting rubes”. He relaxed a bit after that, according to Bertha. What he said next came as a surprise, however. “He asked me if he could pay per thrust. I was hesitant at first but I eventually agreed. I didn’t want anything negatively impacting my five-star rating on Yelp.”

Bertha ended up making far less than she had hoped on that particular transaction, and while she’s glad she provided top-notch service, she said she did not care for her client’s approach to business: “It’s one thing to get screwed literally, but figuratively too?” she said between drags of her cigarette. “My heart goes out to all the gamers out there.”